Coping with stress through the holiday season

The holidays can be difficult for many people, for a variety of reasons. For some, there may be anxiety about making the holidays feel perfect for those around them. Others might experience stress around family dynamics and being forced to confront difficulties in family relationships. There may be trauma or grief around the holidays due to loss or other past experiences. Or perhaps you have a hard time simply living in the moment and being present with whoever you choose to spend the holidays with.

However the holiday stress shows up for you, there are so many people out there who share this feeling of anxiety and worry. Here are my go-to tips on how to manage this difficult time.

Mindfulness

One of the best things you can do during any period of stress or anxiety is focusing on grounding and present moment awareness. When we’re feeling worried about something, we usually become overly focused on the future and considering all of the “what-ifs” and worst-case-scenarios. By bringing our attention back to the present, we may remind ourselves of our reality. The stress/anxiety you experience is your brain’s way of alerting you to potential danger to avoid. Reminding yourself that you are not in danger, by bringing your awareness to your surroundings is a great way to relieve some of that fear. Perhaps you use the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique (name 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, 1 thing you taste), or you focus on a calming visualization (something in nature, or a real or imagined space that brings you a sense of peace/calm).

Boundaries

When it comes to family dynamics, relationships can become extremely tense during the holiday season. A great way to help navigate these difficulties is boundary-setting. The concept of boundaries with family may sound scary or foreign to some, but it can be very small or simple things. For example, if staying overnight with family, you might find it helpful to create break times where you are able to be alone and retreat to a separate space to relax and refill your social battery. Maybe it’s establishing an agreement with certain family members to not discuss certain topics that can become heated and cause tension. Or, perhaps stating that you can only visit for x amount of time. Again, these are small examples but can go a long way in having some control and protecting your time, energy, and peace, therefore reducing the level of stress surrounding these days.

Connection

Connecting with those that refill your cup can be such a great way to spend time around the holidays. Outside of family, this may be close friends or community. Maybe you set up a phone call with an old friend or find a time to visit in-person. While family time may be stressful or draining, spending time with chosen family may be what you really want/need around the holidays to feel supported and loved.

Therapy

If you’re finding it very difficult to cope with and process your feelings about the holidays or family relationships, it may be a good time to get started with therapy. A therapist can sit with you and help you dive deeper into your unique family relationships and experiences. They can also help you improve your coping skills and add some new things to your coping toolbox in preparation for the holidays. If this is something you’re struggling with, I highly recommend getting started sooner than later to have as much time to process and prepare before the holidays come around. But, it’s never too late to give it a try!

If you are looking for a therapist to help you work through and better cope with holiday stress, I may be able to help! Reach out here to get started with therapy today.

Elizabeth Allen, LCPAT, LGPC, ATR-BC

Creative Pathways Counseling LLC